Tag Archives: trials & tests

Pete Gardner

MY Life, In So Many Words

Several months ago, I started writing a biography of sorts so that I could better acquaint myself to an online friend I had met through my blogs. This biography is far from complete, but I want to throw it out on this site and maybe get some feedback from those of you who have not heard from me on this site for a while. My other two blogs have been getting all of my attention, and this main site has been stagnant for quite some time.

This biography is written a little different than most I have read (which are not too many). My understanding [f how a biography should be written is that it should follow a chronological pattern, bring the reader from early years to the fulfillment of a persons life. The story of my life is, instead, told by categories. Things like my love for words in many forms, driving experiences, churches I have belonged to are all chapters in this book. There are also addendums to some of these chapters, as certain stories really belong in a chapter by themselves. Many of these chapters are not complete yet. but I put as much information in as I could think of at the time. I’m sure, after I read them over and over, I will think of other events or people that should be mentioned. This is a start, though.

At this time, I am going to schedule these blogs to go out two times a week, on Sunday and Wednesday. I have several chapters completed, and will be scheduling them now in no particular order. By the time these finish running, I hope to have more chapters written.

I hope you enjoy this journey, and I really hope to hear from you, my readers. Your input into this endeavor is much anticipated and appreciated. be honest with me, please, and tell me if these stories catch your imagination, and if you think this will make a good book one day. I am just a regular guy who does regular everyday things – nothing spectacular. But I love to write, and this is a legacy for my children and grandchildren.

Thank you for reading! The first addition will be posted Wednesday.

I Have Fallen

I have fallen
Fallen hard
Fallen fast
Fallen for the deception of my enemy
Fallen from a place of comfort
To a place of ruin
The world spins around me
Like a chaotic cyclone
Churning with confusion
Not knowing which way to turn
Which way to run
Which way to hide
Where to find help
This is a lonely place
Down in the shadows
In the valley
Where darkness dwells and I listen to it’s voice

How did I get here?
How did I get so far into this hole?
This quagmire of doubt and disbelief
It was pride that brought me here
Pride that had me not listen to others wisdom
Pride that made me keep going deeper
Father into the enemy’s lies
Father into the deceit that enveloped me
In the background
Behind all the noise
Behind the confusion I could hear His voice
I could hear the Holy Spirit calling out
Stop
Don’t go there
But I continued onward
Ignoring His voice
Ignoring the very one who could save me
The one who could turn me around
The one who had my best interest at heart

Finally, I hit bottom
I realized where I was
Where I had been
How I had arrived here
And I was ashamed
Ashamed that I had fallen for His lies
His deceit
Ashamed that I listened to the enemy instead of my Lord
Destroyed in my heart
Feeling destined for failure
Destined for heartache
Destined for destruction
The shame was eating me alive
Tearing up my soul
And my spirit
It hurt so bad

So, I confessed
To my wife, my Pastor, my kids
I confessed to my own soul how I got here
I thought it was a way out
But it was a way to go deeper
Further down
I was trapped
I was fooled
My pride was hurt
But that is good
That is what I needed to realize
It was all pride
And I needed to humble myself
Humble myself before God whom I had ignored
Humble myself to my wife who trusted me
Humble myself to all those who turned to me for wisdom
So ashamed
Such a lonely place

I cried out to my God
And He heard me
From the depths of my sin
He heard me
He comforted me
He said He loved me
He said He needed me still
Needed me to preach His word
To write His words
To write my heart
He was not done with me yet

And I wept
I worshipped
I praised His name
I drew close to Him and He drew near to me
Back in His arms
Back in His grace
Trusting Him once again
He loved me even when I was in the valley
Fallen deep into the enemy’s deceit
He still loves me
And He will carry me out
Out to safety
Out to blessing
He will turn my mourning into dancing
My sorrow into joy
My pain into peace
What the enemy meant for evil He will turn for good
Because He loves me
Where You Are

Where You Are

I hear you calling Lord at the dawning of the day
I hear your footsteps, Lord, as I walk along the way
I feel your presence, Lord. I ask you please to stay
Close by my side.  I will abide in you

You send your comforter to teach me of your ways
Your Holy Spirit, Lord, to guide me every day
I feel His presence, Lord, and I ask Him to stay
Close by my side.  I will abide in you

Where you are, there is mercy. Where you are, there is grace
Where you are I know I’m safe from all harm
Where you are, there is freedom. Where you are, there is peace
I always want to stay where you are

So many times, Lord, I have wandered from your side
So many times, Lord, I have given up on life
So many times, Lord, you’ve reminded me that I’m
Close by your side, so I’ll abide in you

Right here, right now you hold me in your arms
Right here, right now you keep me from all harm
I don’t deserve it, I never will
Yet you come and show your love to me
You come and show your love to me
All That I Need

Lord, Help Me Please

If God's in control, why do I worry
If God's in control, why do I dread
If God's in control i must always remember 
That He's not done with me yet 

I look at my life and see all the struggles 
Daily they come at me from every side
Just when I think that I might go under 
He comes along and strengthens my life 

It seems that I think I can handle it all
My pride says that I just cannot fall
Then I see this world crash in around me
And I find myself falling down on my knees 
Shouting Lord, help me please

Help me to see your mercy and grace
Help me to see the love on your face
Help me to lift my hands up in praise
To the one who can all my struggles erase

Yes, God's in control of the wind and the waves
He's in control of the storm and the rain
When trials and troubles are all around me
The best place I can be is down on my knees
Shouting Lord help me please

He's not a God who will leave me alone
To muddle through trouble all on my own
He's full of compassion, patience and peace 
He'll always be there to comfort me
When I cry out Lord, help me please.

He Restores My Soul

 When trouble is all around me 
 And I'm not sure which way to go
 I turn to my Lord and Savior
 For He restores my soul 
  
 When this world seems to overtake me
 And the enemy seems so bold 
 I know that Jesus will hold me
 For He restores my soul
  
 CHORUS
 He restores my joy in sorrow
 He restores my peace in the storm
 He restores my hope in the valley
 He'll always restore my soul 
  
 I go through each day with this victory
 Because He's there to show me the way
 I know that my path will be guarded
 He'll restore my soul every day
  
 CHORUS
  
 And though I walk through the valley
 Still waters will be by my side
 Green pastures will be in my future
 My Savior is always my guide
  
 Through sickness
 Through pain
 Through heartache 
 Through rain
 Through good times 
 Through bad
 He’s restore me in every way
  
 CHORUS